I DON’T JUST STOP, I EXHAUST MY HUMANITY FIRST

I am not the kind of person who disappears quietly, No,,,,I am the kind who will knock on the door until my knuckles forget they were ever soft, I will say hi once, then twice, then ten times, then twenty. At that point it’s no longer a greeting, it’s a social experiment.

I will smile at you even when your face looks like it signed a contract with misery, I will smile so much that my cheeks deserve a performance bonus, I will apply for jobs like I own the recruitment website, I will refresh my email like it owes me money, I will rewrite my CV so many times it starts asking me who it really is 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆.

Because that’s who I am, I don’t quit easily, I try, I try again, I try differently, I try politely, I try loudly in silence, I try with dignity, and this applies to everything from family, relatives, colleagues, friendships, love, dreams, careers, opportunities etc. If you are in my life, I will show up, even when you don’t, when you are busy, when you are “going through something.” Even when you are pretending I don’t exist, I will show effort like it’s a full-time job, but here’s the part people misunderstand, when I stop…!!!!  I stop completely, there is no dramatic speech, no airport scene, no “please fight for me.”

I don’t fight to stay where I had to fight just to be acknowledged.

🙈 See, loyalty is a beautiful thing, until it becomes self-neglect.

I am loyal even to myself, I push myself, I motivate myself, I give myself pep talks like I’m my own life coach, “Come on, MacB, one more try.” I will apply for that job again, I will message that person again, I will give that situation one more chance, but even loyalty has a limit, you cannot keep pouring from a cup that has been used as a community water dispenser, if you gerit...

There is a difference between resilience and self-disrespect, trying twenty times is resilience, trying a hundred times without boundaries is self-abandonment, and today,, I decided to teach you all, so let’s be clear,

1. Effort is noble.

2. Consistency is admirable.

3. Loyalty is rare.

🤔 But self-respect is mandatory.

Some people think persistence makes you weak, they laugh quietly. “why does she keep trying?” they whisper, because I am not scared of effort, what I’m scared of is regret.

I want to know that when something ends, it ended because I gave it everything,  not because I was lazy, proud, or ego-driven, but let me tell you something 😂 😂 😆 

- If I ever go silent on you…

- ever stop checking in…

-If I ever stop applying…

-If I ever stop smiling…

Just know I didn’t wake up like that, I didn’t become cold overnight, you witnessed twenty “hi’s.” you saw the smiles, you saw the applications, you saw the effort, you just didn’t respond, and when a person like me reaches the point of “I can’t anymore,” it’s not drama, It’s closure, It’s emotional exhaustion graduating into detachment, when I stop, I don’t circle back, I don’t send a “just checking in.” I don’t stalk your updates, I don’t beg, I don’t explain twice, because I already explained twenty times in action.

This is not bitterness, this is boundaries.

People think the loud ones are dangerous,

No 🙂‍↔️ 🙂‍↔️ 

The dangerous ones are the quiet quitters who tried their hardest first, the ones who loved loudly, who showed up consistently, who applied relentlessly, who smiled sincerely and then one day… nothing, no anger, no noise just absence.

You see, effort is my language, if I am still trying, you still matter, if I am still smiling, you still matter, If I am still applying, I still believe, but when I stop believing? Even resurrection won’t fix it.

And here’s the twist,

People always wake up when you stop, suddenly they notice the silence, suddenly they miss the “hi.” they wonder why you are not applying, not calling, not smiling, and you’re just there like, “Oh, now you see me?”

I am not built for halfway, I am either fully in or peacefully out, so yes, I will try, I will greet you twenty times, I will apply a million times, I will show up for family, relatives and even colleagues.

I will remain loyal even to myself when I feel tired, but understand this clearly, 

I) My persistence is a privilege.

II) My effort is not infinite.

And my silence, when it finally arrives, is permanent, because before I stop,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I exhaust my humanity first.

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