THEY ALL HAVE PEOPLE TO RUN TO. I HAVE GOD. LUCKY ME.

They all have people to run to.

Emergency contacts,

Backup plans with names and phone numbers,

Uncles in high places, friends in the right rooms, Partners in big positions, someone who can “talk to someone” when things get messy.

Me?

I run to silence first,

I run to prayer when the room is full, but the support is empty,

I run to God when everyone else is busy choosing convenience over courage,

It’s funny, really,

Not haha funny 🤣 🤣 🤣, 

The kind of funny that makes you laugh so you don’t scream 😭 😭,

They trip, and hands appear,

They fall, and cushions are already laid out,

They make mistakes, and suddenly it’s “human error,” “miscommunication,” “we will sort it out.”

I breathe wrong, and it’s a character flaw.

But don’t worry, I’m strong,

I have been assigned that role since forever.

The one who “handles it well.”

The one who “doesn’t need much.”

The one who will be okay because I always am.

People love strong people,

They just don’t love standing with them when being strong becomes expensive,

They have people to run to,

I have God.

Which sounds poetic and holy and Instagram-caption worthy until you realize what it actually means in real life!

It means when things go left, there is no safety net made of humans,

There is just faith, stubborn hope, and a conversation with heaven that sometimes feels like leaving voice notes on read.

I talk to God when I can’t talk to people.

Not because I’m holy, but because people get uncomfortable with truth,

God can handle my anger,

People prefer my politeness,

God can sit with my brokenness,

People prefer my performance,

There are days I’m tired of being the “God will make a way” person.

I want to be the “my friend sorted it out” person for once.

I want to be the one who calls someone and hears, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” and actually believes it.

But no, I get the premium spiritual package, 

Pray about it,

Be patient,

Trust the process,

Build character,

Because apparently my character wasn’t developed enough yet.

They move with confidence because they know someone will catch them.

I move carefully because I know if I fall, I fall alone.

And yes, God is with me, but let’s be honest, sometimes you want a human hand, not just divine reassurance.

Sometimes faith feels like walking a tightrope while everyone else has a bridge.

Sometimes trusting God feels like being told, “Jump,” while others are given parachutes, helmets, and a whole rescue team,

But here’s the part I don’t say out loud often,

God has been the only constant in rooms full of temporary people.

When friends switched sides, He stayed,

When family didn’t understand me, He did.

When my name was dragged in conversations I wasn’t invited to, He knew the truth of my heart.

When I was reduced to a story people told about me, He remembered who I really am.

When it’s too much, He gives me a sign.

Not the dramatic movie-signs, or should we say Not the Bollywood way,

No burning bushes or booming voices from the sky.

It’s more subtle,

A sudden calm in the middle of chaos,

A delay that saves me from a bigger disaster.

A door that closes so aggressively it hurts, only for me to realize later it was protecting me from a room that would have destroyed me.

Sometimes the sign is simply that I didn’t break.

That after everything, I am still here.

Still soft in a world that tried to harden me.

Still kind in spaces that reward cruelty.

Still believing, even when belief feels like a full-time job with no days off,

They have people to run to,

I have God to run to when people fail, when systems fail, when fairness takes a sick day.

They have connections,

I have convictions,

They have networks,

I have nights on my knees asking heaven for strength because I ran out of it in the afternoon.

And yes, sometimes I am jealous,

I watch people be defended in rooms they never enter, 

I watch mistakes be erased because of who they know,

I watch mediocrity get protection while my effort gets questioned,

And I laugh 😂 🤣 😹,

Because if I don’t laugh, I might start asking God questions I am not ready to hear answers to.

But maybe this lonely road is doing something to me.

Maybe being carried by God instead of people is teaching me how to walk without leaning on approval.

Maybe not having a crowd is teaching me how to stand alone without losing myself.

Maybe being defended by heaven instead of humans is the reason my conscience is still clean, even when my name is not.

So yes, they have people to run to,

I have God.

And when it’s too much, when the weight is unfair, when the silence is loud, when I am tired of being “the strong one”, He gives me a sign.

Sometimes the sign is a reminder 🎗️,

“You’re still here. And you didn’t get here alone.”

So, I keep walking.

Sometimes with faith.

Sometimes with sarcasm (most of the time),

Sometimes with tears in my throat and prayers on my lips.

But always with God,

because when you don’t have people to run to,

you learn how to run toward heaven.

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