WHEN THEY LOOK AND PRETEND, THEY CAN’T SEE YOU

When they look straight through you and loudly say, “I can’t see anyone there,” as if you are invisible, as if your presence is an inconvenience, as if your existence is something they can erase with their voices, When they sit close enough for you to hear their laughter, their whispers, their secret conversations about you, but none of them have the courage to face you and say anything to your face., that’s when something breaks inside you, not loudly, Quietly. The kind of break that teaches you how alone you really are in a room full of people.

That’s when you begin to realize it was never about you being weak.

It was about you being seen,

And some people only know how to deal with what threatens their small sense of control by trying to shrink it, silence it, or stain it.

They create stories about you to make themselves feel cleaner, they twist your name in their mouths so they can sleep at night, they plant rumors like seeds and then act surprised when poison grows, they laugh about you in circles you’re not allowed into, and then look innocent when you walk past, they wear friendly faces in public and carry knives in private, and you stand there, carrying your dignity, wondering how people can be so loud in their cruelty and so quiet in their accountability.

It hurts in ways you can’t always explain,

Because it’s not just what they say,

It’s the pretending,

The pretending you don’t exist,

The pretending they don’t know the damage they cause,

The pretending that they are good people while doing bad things to your name,

That’s when you realize the people you thought were your people… were not,

They were just people you were loyal to,

And loyalty without protection is self-betrayal,

You start to understand that you have been fighting battles you never volunteered for, Smiling through storms nobody else sees, Carrying pain that has no witness. Showing up every day with a brave face while inside you are tired of being misunderstood, tired of being targeted, tired of being the topic of conversations you were never invited into.

They don’t know about the sleepless nights,

They don’t know about the tears that fall when the lights are off,

They don’t know about the way your chest tightens when you walk into spaces where you know your name has already been discussed,

They don’t know the questions you ask yourself in the dark,

They don’t know the trauma they leave behind each day with their careless words and calculated silence,

And maybe they don’t care,

That’s the part that hurts the most,

But here’s the part they don’t get to decide,

Your pain is not your identity,

Their cruelty is not your definition,

Their stories are not your truth,

They can try to put you down, gather in corners, plot your humiliation, distort your character, and pretend they are powerful while doing it. But they forget something important, you have a strength they don’t understand, you have a conscience, you have a heart that still beats with hope even after being bruised, and you have a faith that reminds you that there is a higher court than human gossip a place where truth is not whispered, it is known, a place where your tears are seen even when your voice is ignored.

You may feel like you have been alone all along,

And in many ways, you have been,

Alone in your resilience,

Alone in your integrity,

Alone in choosing not to become what hurt you,

But being alone did not break you,

It forged you,

You learned to stand when no one defended you,

You learned to walk away when staying meant losing yourself,

You learned to protect your heart when kindness was taken for weakness,

You learned to survive rooms that wanted to erase you,

And one day, quietly, without applause, you realize,

You don’t need to fight their battles anymore.

You don’t need to prove your innocence to people committed to misunderstanding you.

You don’t need to carry the weight of their projections,

Let them talk,

Let them whisper,

Let them sit in circles and rehearse versions of you that fit their comfort,

You know your truth,

You know your scars,

You know the strength it took to still be here, still soft, still standing,

At the end of the day, their noise fades 

But your survival remains, 

And that is something they can never take from you. 😊