THE GARDEN, THE SNAKE, AND THE SMILE

People love saying things that sound wise when they have never walked through your storms. Things like Leave the past in the past, Focus on the future or Just move on.

Simple words, easy words, words usually spoken by people who never had to sit alone in a room with their chest heavy, their eyes swollen, and their soul questioning everything.

They say leave the past in the past because they do not know how expensive that past was, they do not know the nights when the room became a witness to your tears, the nights when the door was locked, the lights were off, and the only thing louder than the silence was your heartbeat trying to hold itself together. They don’t know how many times you wiped your tears, looked in the mirror, and practiced a smile before walking out like everything was fine, because sometimes survival is not about winning, sometimes survival is about pretending long enough until the world stops asking questions.

The Meetings Behind Closed Doors, people think betrayal is loud.

Nooooooo...........

Betrayal is quiet, it wears perfume, shakes your hand and laughs at your jokes.

The real conspiracies are not shouted in hallways, they happen behind closed doors, in whispers, in little meetings that start with “Let’s just talk about something…”

You were not there, but your name was the main agenda and they sat in circles like a committee deciding the weather of your life.

They planned your exit, they discussed your downfall like it was a project and the funniest part? Some of them were the same people who would come to your desk the next day and say::::Hey, how are you today?” With the brightest smile.

Human beings are interesting creatures, they can stab you with a knife and then ask if you need a bandage.

The Screenshot Department 😂 😂 😂 Ah yes.

The department of screenshots, some people don’t work in offices, they work in surveillance centres, every mistake you made became a screenshot, every small error became a forwarded message, every little moment became a topic for discussion after work. You could almost imagine them sitting there like journalists breaking world news:....“Breaking news: Macrina made a mistake today.” phones lighting up, group chats buzzing. People zooming in on your work like detectives examining evidence.

You know what’s funny though????? The same people who were zooming in on your mistakes were blind when it came to their own...in a layman's language we saw Protection vs Punishment

Life in many workplaces is like a strange court system, some people have lawyers, others have judges, so when they make mistakes, it becomes “A learning opportunity.” but when you make mistakes, suddenly it becomes Carelessness, Unprofessional or Unacceptable.”

Their mistakes were treated like babies learning to walk while your mistakes were treated like crimes against humanity.

They had people to run to, mentors, protectors, friends or even partners.

You??????? 🫣 

You had accountability meetings.

They had protection but you had punishment, and somehow people still ask why you carry scars.

The Smile They Misunderstood, and one of the biggest misunderstandings in life is the smile, people see you laughing, they see you making jokes, see you walking in with confidence and they assume everything is easy for you, but what they do not understand is that sometimes a smile is not happiness, a smile is armour, because if you didn’t laugh, you might cry, if you didn’t joke, you might break.

If you didn’t smile, people might finally see the wounds, so you laugh, not because life is perfect but because laughter is cheaper than therapy.

Do you know The Garden of Eden Lesson???

People forget something important about the Garden of Eden, the snake did not come from outside, it was already inside the garden.

Adam and Eve were not attacked by strangers, they were deceived by something that lived among them, so when people say: “Be careful of enemies.” I always laugh 😂 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 because enemies are easy to recognise, the real danger is the snake sitting next to you while asking how was your day?”

The same people you laugh with today, the same people you share lunch with, sometimes they are the same people secretly hoping you get kicked out of the garden.

But guess what......They gave you the fruit, they waited for you to fall, waited for the consequences, waited for your downfall and somehow…the fruit did not work, because my Mum has connection in heaven, she prays for me day and night

😂😂😂

The Part People Don’t Understand is that healing is not a race, it is not a deadline, it is not something that happens because someone said...Just move on, pain has its own clock, memories have their own language, and healing???? Healing walks slowly, some days you move forward, some days you stand still, some you go backwards and cry again.....

And that is okay, because healing is not about pretending the past never happened, healing is about surviving it without becoming it.

The Truth About Being the Strong One is that  Sometimes you can be the strongest person in the room and still be the most vulnerable, you might be the oldest in the team, the most experienced, the one everyone expects to have everything figured out, but strength does not mean you never bleed. It just means you learned how to hide the wounds while still doing your job.

So when people see your jokes…when they see your laughter…when they see your smile…let them enjoy the performance, but they should never confuse the smile with weakness,  because the people who smile through pain are often the most dangerous survivors. They have already faced the worst and they are still standing.

Final and Truth

So yes.....

One day the past will stay in the past but today????today you are allowed to feel it, you are allowed to remember, you are allowed to heal at your own pace.

Survival is not about pretending nothing happened, survival is about walking out of the garden…looking back at the snakes 🐍🐍🐍…and realising something powerful:

You were never meant to stay there anyway. 🌿